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More poetry about detox: down the hall

{this is about my time in the detox ward of a hospital in November, 2013 and the misery associated with withdrawal from opiates – “down the hall” from my room was the nurses station and medication window where they doled out customized withdrawal meds to help ease the horrific pain… I’d like to add that MUSIC was the only thing that really made me feel any better. I’d plug into my iPod and my poor, blocked opiate receptors would suddenly engage and produce dopamine and immediately ease my pain – both the pain from withdrawal and my chronic back pain}

down the hall …

I’ll crash the night to occupy space
I’ll stare inside my own stone face
It’s not what’s right but they can’t tell
Down the hall from my living hell

Spinning threads are in my head
Weaving streams of shallow breath
They wake me up right on time
Down the hall to kill some time

I’ll let them know and use advice
I’ll take the chair then stand in line
It’s not me and it’s not my fault
They get some laughs down the hall

Go check out the brainwash room
Then back to lie in my small cocoon
A million minutes tick from the clock
Then one more trip down the hall

Lying awake not feeling good
Seeking a treatment for my mood
Racing thoughts hit the wall
Slowly I stagger down the hall

Brains get checked every morning
With burning eyes and sleepless yawning
Deprived souls but they don’t care
Down the hall to sit and stare

Waiting brains just want some more
Will do what’s told to get a score
Strung right out devoid of sleep
Go down the hall to get relief

Tell your tale and then repeat
Tell it again in your sleep
Smells are hyper and I cannot eat
Walk down the hall to rant my grief

I’ll crash the morning and hope to sleep
I’ll shut them out and try to dream
With a zombie mind and feeling weak
Down the hall for some magic treats

Squirming to remain in my seat
Facing creeps recruiting freaks
Note to self to skip these meets
Tell the hall to let me sleep

Summoned to watch a lame video
A droning voice reads rules we know
Bored and tired I make fun of it
Sent down the hall to catch some shit

Laughing sighing falsely trying
Overcome with peoples’ lying
Speech is clumsy and I can’t call
Aimlessly shuffle down the hall

I don’t care who sees my stare
I’ve lost my shell my soul is bare
Sickly choking from a putrid smell
From the toxic mess down the hall

Hearing my head with focused thinking
The weight of my world quickly shrinking
Video science a looping trail
Down the hall of a living hell

Time catches me feeling not so bad
Yet awake for hours makes one mad
Today I will do everything I can
To avoid the hall at two a.m.

Trying to adjust to this atmosphere
We are all just sick children here
Don’t misjudge one behind this face
I will leave this hall and forget this place


© 2013 deb davies thorkelson  |  image: iPhone photo

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