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Self Portrait: Pain + Waiting for the Future

iPhone self-portrait: "Pain"

Pain + Waiting for the Future


I don’t much feel this way now

almost a year ago I was put out of my misery

and given a second (ninth?) chance at living a good life

I stopped taking pain-killers and muscle relaxers

for chronic back pain and spine surgery

that eventually cost me my job

and kept me in bed almost all of the time

thinking my life was over…

but four days after I stopped

I no longer felt the debilitating hurt

it stopped raining and it felt like a miracle

the prescription opiates had messed with my brain

causing an increased and unnatural perception of pain

if this hadn’t happened to me I would never

have believed this could be true…

then I had a new kind of pain, one from withdrawal

it lasted a long several months and some of the effects

still keep me waiting for the future

but I no longer am this self-portrait

© deb davies thorkelson   |    Self Portrait Image: iPhone 3 converted to B+W with Camerbag’s “1962” filter

2 replies »

  1. The road back is long and never easy. You saved that remarkable talent for writing, poetry, and art. You tempered it in the crucible of that pain. Now, you inspire, create and share this wonderful part of you, with us. Thank you, and welcome home.

    Liked by 1 person

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